Time for another one

All I want to do is just UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ever get that feeling?

Where you just want to scream STOP!! Like WTF!!

Yeah… well that is how I feel right now.

Yesterday, when I took Dusty to his neurology appointment we were told time to replace the batteries in his VNS device.

Yes, I know… it is just a simple little surgery to change the batteries.

Let me explain why I just want to scream UGHHHHH.

Friday I went to see the surgeon, again. The one who just fused my neck in May.

Welp… he got updated imaging for my low back.

The previous one I got almost looked like a bad copy of a something when you don’t close the copy machine all the way. If you know what I am talking about. So the doc ordered a new one at a different facility.

Part of my spine looks as if it has fused on it’s on. Not exactly sure how that happens.

James calls me a freak LMOA… but I guess it isn’t unheard of so I will continue.

He’s going over my images and telling me this about this area, that area and I am looking the screen just trying to figure out why it looks like it does.

Some parts have barely any disc in between the vertebra, my spine looks as if it is a married company who aren’t the cuddle up to each other when they sleep type. One part is going one way and the other going the other way.

The surgeon is trying to not have to fused my entire lumbar region because he said patients who have had to have their entire lumbar fused haven’t had the best of experiences because of stiffness.

So… for now … it is a wait and see game. If you have read my previous posts you know my biggest fear is not being able to walk from my spine wanted to age before I do. It’s like my spine was born 20 years before I was and did alot of physical labor prior to me being born and needing it.

In the meantime I need to have yet another surgery. Thankfully this one will not be a fusion. That is unless he gets in there and sees something a bit more concerning than what the images show.

Fingers crossed for now but I would like to “walk into my casket or urn instead of roll”.

Yeah I know that makes no sense nor do I care if it does but do I ever make any sense?

If you ask anyone that knows me they will tell you … it is just who she is.

Besides, I would have a very hard time attending to Dusty if he were having a seizure and I’m trying to do it from a wheelchair.

He is almost 150 lbs and my back can barely picked up my grandbaby much less attempt to move my son if I need to.

They haven’t scheduled either one of the surgeries yet and I know they won’t do Dusty’s surgery until sometime in 2023. The battery in the VNS is in the 25% range so we have a little time but will have to be replaced in 2023.

My surgery will probably be scheduled in January or February from the looks of the schedule. Unless something changes. They still have to get insurance approval and all the paperwork prior to being able to schedule it.

I just have to be careful and take it easy with the heavy lifting. I haven’t been able to lift much since the neck fusion anyway.

All I can do for now is keep taking my medications and keep using both my cbd muscle rub and cbd massage melt.

I want to get a deep tissue massage but I can’t right now and it sooooo sucks!!

I might go try and do an epsom salt float soak. It think that is what it is called.

I am not sure if it will help at all but it is worth a try.

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