I need your prayers, miracles. My heart hurts and I just can’t do life without my momma. She is in the fight for life and I will likely not be on social media much. Her kidneys took a hit and need to heal in order for them to do any chemo or radiation. Cancer is in her liver and lungs and they need to see if it is in her brain yet. But they just put some metal clamps in her to stop bleeding and they need to pass through her body first before an MRI can be done. They could do a CT scan with contrast if her kidney function was better than they were. She has had to have several units of blood due to the bleeding.

I sit here typing this and am in tears. I have to be strong but I don’t know how to when it is my mom. I don’t want my momma in pain but damn it.

Dusty was sitting in the room when the doctor told my mom and my step father what the results were to the biopsy. When my husband and I walked back in the room we noticed the look on Dusty’s face. He had stopped eating and was holding a piece of watermelon and was literally squeezing a hole in it. He may not have completely understood what he heard but from the look on his face he understood enough. I don’t know how he is going to deal with this. His seizures will likely get worse.

I had to call my daughter at work and her roommates mom brought her over to the hospital. She took it hard too. Tomorrow my mom’s 90 year old step-mom will be told. My aunt and my step-father will have to tell her and hoping that she takes it well but she is 90 and attached to my mama.

They don’t know how much time my momma has and the chemo would give her some time but how much is not known.

My momma is my life, my heart, my soul and I would not have lived as long as I have without her.

She goes in tomorrow morning for her 3rd surgical procedure since June 8th.

I just buried my biological father six fucking months ago and I can’t do this. NO NO NO.

Got to go throw up…