Family

Only one I’ve ever known

Originally posted 2023-10-02 07:19:38. I lost the only father I have ever known, my children lost the only grandfather (or better known as Pa to them). I am going to say he is now reunited with my mother. I haven’t even come to terms with my mothers passing and now this. I feel hella guilty because I haven’t even been able to return to my mothers house since she passed and now this. I feel…

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Family

Musical Love Connection

Originally posted 2020-05-06 09:00:18. You know those songs that you absolutely love? The ones that bring back so many memories of your past? Yeah, those. I love music! Always have. I have loved to listen to it and to sing it. I feel the music not just listen to it. You know those songs that you can feel every word, every beat. Well… I also have a love/hate relationship with those same songs. They bring…

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Family

Heirlooms

Originally posted 2018-06-28 18:19:05. I know some of you are wondering what happened. Well… my mama lost her fight with cancer. She had small cell lung cancer, one of the most aggressive I’m told. Her kidneys started failing and no matter what they did they didn’t gain traction in the right direction. I apologize as I just can’t tell the story just. Too soon. But we just picked up the dogs from the kennel and…

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Family

This so hard

Originally posted 2018-06-17 22:22:17. Please continue to pray for strength and healing. This is by far one of the hardest things I think I have dealt with in my life. It literally feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Her kidneys just aren’t recovering from the kidney stones and they need to start chemotherapy now. I am watching my mother fight so much but did say if for some reason something…

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Family

Am I just grieving?

Originally posted 2023-09-01 08:45:05. A few nights ago I had a weird dream. For some reason I dreamt that my mother was murdered. I am not sure if it was because I had been watching some of those shows where they talk about someone was murdered and they were trying to resolve it years later or not. In my dream I went to my mothers house. I will add that I have not been to…

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Family

In awe…

Originally posted 2020-04-12 08:00:10. Have you ever just looked at your spouse and just for a few seconds was in somewhat of a trance? Not because they were doing anything in particular, just because. Just because they are who they are. I sat here yesterday after we got back home just looking at my husband. After losing my mom, my bio father, my nephews he’s thankfully still here. I’m just in awe… Is our relationship…

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Family

My heart is breaking

Originally posted 2018-06-15 14:38:27. This will be the hardest thing I have ever done. I have to somehow suppress the expression on my face because Dusty is watching me like a hawk. He knows something is up. This hurts so much. I don’t know how to let go of my mother. I don’t know how to live my life without her. I don’t know how I will ever explain it to Dusty. I pray to…

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