Originally posted 2018-08-29 14:18:59.
I have been in a slump since my momma passed away.
I know I still have alot to be thankful for but I feel like I have lost my will to carry on.
Now don’t mistake that for me being suicidal, because I am not. I just don’t have the same – umph – per say to live like I did before.
Does that makes sense? I quit… just literally abandoned my garden.
My husband was cleaning part of the shed and mentioned me having my bags of dirt. I just made this noise like I didn’t care. Which I don’t right now. He then asked do I want him to just tear down my garden beds and other garden stuff? I said “yeah I don’t care”
He joked with me and said you’re being a quitter? In a sense, I guess yes. For how long I don’t know.
And honestly….I don’t really care. I barely have cooked since momma passed.
I have lost 20 pounds since she passed. Which from a medical/diabetes standpoint that is not a bad thing. Just saying….
I mean I bury my bio father then less than 6 months later my mom. My rock.
Then this morning Facebook memories come across my screen.
This was my son’s surgery that the professor had to perform due to my son’s issues.
Grief is a process that today I just can’t process.