Family

I feel stuck

Originally posted 2021-01-22 13:29:17. In full disclosure I am writing this while under the influence of Ativan…so… Why must we be so afraid of death? Why do we mourn so much over our loved ones? Is it because we really don’t know what’s on the other side? Is it because we don’t know if they are truly better off where they were, in pain?I wonder, with tears I type, I wonder. To my loved ones…

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Family

Struggling with confessions

Originally posted 2018-09-25 08:36:21. Since my momma’s passing some things have come to my eyes that I may have not seen before. I am truly struggling with these and have honestly only told my husband and my daughter.  I know people deserve their lives the way they choose to live, happy, healthy or destructive. No matter what that is someone’s personal choice.  But I am having a hard time understanding one’s intentions after losing someone…

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Family

Happy Heavenly Birthday Momma and CJ

Originally posted 2020-10-20 08:00:00. My nephew CJ’s birthday was October 17th and my momma’s is October 20th. They may be gone in the physical sense but never forgotten. It’s barely been 10 months since CJ’s passing and almost 2 and a half years for since my momma passed away. It is hard “celebrating” their birthday when they aren’t here. I know my momma would want us to celebrate and have fun, drink a beer and…

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Family

Its a new year and what will it bring

Originally posted 2015-01-07 00:57:18. Well its now 2015, Yay! What that means, who knows. Will it be a good year for us and so many more, one could hope so. To start off the new year a very close family friend’s husband of 28 years passed away. He had been suffering from ALS. He passed on January 2, 2015. His wife is such an overwhelmingly loving person who we were honored to connect with back…

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Family

Husband, Father, Marine, Veteran

Originally posted 2014-11-06 20:46:55. Today, November 6 is my husbands birthday. He is not used to necessarily celebrating it because of the way they grew up they didn’t celebrate birthdays, Christmas, etc. He turns 33 years old. Yes, I guess that technically means I am a “cougar” since I have almost 9 years on him. But I am ok with that. He has been a great provider and father to my children. He earned the…

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Family

In my thoughts

Originally posted 2019-07-04 09:06:45. You know I have been thinking alot more since the passing of my mother, June 21 2018. I miss her so much. My son, Dusty, talks about her ALOT. It is hard to hear him talk about her. I mean it is good thoughts but it is painful to hear. With me trying to heal and deal with life without her… it feels like scab being ripped from your skin. One…

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Family

I’ll admit

Originally posted 2018-08-29 14:18:59. I have been in a slump since my momma passed away. I know I still have alot to be thankful for but I feel like I have lost my will to carry on. Now don’t mistake that for me being suicidal, because I am not. I just don’t have the same – umph – per say to live like I did before. Does that makes sense? I quit… just literally abandoned…

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Family

I lost the words

Originally posted 2019-06-21 17:37:19. Do you know how hard it is to grieve with someone around you watching you every second of the day? I know I will miss this one day when he’s gone but I feel like I can’t do what I need to do for me in order to “protect him” Today in 2018 my mother lost her fight. She when down quick but not without fight. Things lay on my mind…

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