grief

Her first in heaven

By |September 1st, 2019|Family|1 Comment

My momma’s first birthday in heaven is tomorrow, October 20th. She would have been 69 years young.
Oh God how I miss her so.
I know this gets easier over time but I wish that time was now.
My husband has been trying so hard to keep me from falling into a deeper hole that I […]

Originally posted 2018-10-19 15:00:08.

Struggling with confessions

By |July 24th, 2019|Family|0 Comments

Since my momma’s passing some things have come to my eyes that I may have not seen before. I am truly struggling with these and have honestly only told my husband and my daughter.  I know people deserve their lives the way they choose to live, happy, healthy or destructive. No matter what that […]

Originally posted 2018-09-25 08:36:21.

How can I?

By |July 19th, 2019|Family|0 Comments

It’s been a little over a year since my momma’s passing. I haven’t been back to my momma’s house since.

I have kept this in and I need to let it out. It is literally killing me.

My life is spent living it day by day, minute by minute. Living my life one breath at a […]

I shoulder the pain

By |July 7th, 2019|Family|0 Comments

I woke up this morning feeling lost, missing my momma.
I know my bio father wasn’t really a father to me but losing him I feel I also lost a part of me as well. Then, to make matters worse….
I lost the man that was my “father”.
Not by death…
I guess you’d say by choice. My […]

In my thoughts

By |July 4th, 2019|Family|0 Comments

You know I have been thinking alot more since the passing of my mother, June 21 2018. I miss her so much. My son, Dusty, talks about her ALOT. It is hard to hear him talk about her. I mean it is good thoughts but it is painful to hear.

With me trying […]

I lost the words

By |June 21st, 2019|Family|0 Comments

Do you know how hard it is to grieve with someone around you watching you every second of the day?

I know I will miss this one day when he’s gone but I feel like I can’t do what I need to do for me in order to “protect him”

Today in 2018 my mother lost […]

When we needed each other

By |June 9th, 2019|Uncategorized|0 Comments

 

 

 

 

My husband and I met online. Funny thing is I messaged him asking him if he was even old enough to be on the site. He did not look old enough at all. We hit it off. I was living about 3 hours away from him. He was in the Marine Corps at the […]

Originally posted 2014-04-21 14:57:42.

Mother’s Day

By |May 10th, 2019|Family|0 Comments

This is the first Mother’s Day without you. This is so hard. As I watch tv, listen to the radio, or even look at the newspaper or online all I see is Mother’s Day ads.
I keep looking away.
I want to avoid it like one would avoid the plague.
This is fucking hard. I told James […]

Snail’s pace

By |April 24th, 2019|Family|1 Comment

Grieving while being the mother and caregiver to someone with autism is hard as hell. Dusty watches me 24/7.

He sees me crying, mad, frustrated, etc I can’t escape. All the while trying to repair hurricane florence damage.

I have been going to my local massage envy every few weeks for a deep tissue […]

Eye In The Sky

By |January 26th, 2019|Family|0 Comments

I woke up this morning with the song Eye In The Sky by The Alan Parsons Project on repeat in my head. I don’t know if it was my momma trying to tell me something or if it was just a coincidence.

Do you ever wake up with songs in your head or out […]

%d bloggers like this: