Family

Mother’s Day

Originally posted 2019-05-10 07:28:23. This is the first Mother’s Day without you. This is so hard. As I watch tv, listen to the radio, or even look at the newspaper or online all I see is Mother’s Day ads. I keep looking away. I want to avoid it like one would avoid the plague. This is fucking hard. I told James I don’t want anything nor do anything. I am so not ready to face…

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Family

Three things

Originally posted 2021-12-29 10:19:35. I am the type of person that would like you to tell me the truth, no matter what. I would respect you more for telling me the truth than not. I know some folks think if it is bad don’t tell me but wouldn’t you rather know? As I have gotten older there are some things I admit to not wanting to know the truth because the pain I will feel…

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Family

Snail’s pace

Originally posted 2019-04-24 16:43:01. Grieving while being the mother and caregiver to someone with autism is hard as hell. Dusty watches me 24/7. He sees me crying, mad, frustrated, etc I can’t escape. All the while trying to repair hurricane florence damage. I have been going to my local massage envy every few weeks for a deep tissue massage. It has helped tremendously from a physical standpoint but not really helped mentally. I need an…

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Family

Validation

Originally posted 2021-12-09 10:38:31. It’s kind of funny because the one that says “you think other people have it worse” is something I always think when I hear someone say or talk about their trauma. Not that in validates my own just that I feel like I may have kind of “gotten over” mine (even though you never really do) just that some people may not have been able to handle the pain from the…

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Family

Shear Disappoint

I wish I could explain the feelings going through my veins. To have learned the things I have and to know the things weren’t as they seemed… the shear amount of disappoint is unbelievable. Now to have to deal with all of that is beyond irritating. There are family members that shouldn’t have to even go through this right now but yet here we are. Then another family member is MIA and holds truths that…

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Family

Posttraumatic Growth After Loss

Originally posted 2020-05-21 19:33:19. Enroll in our newest course, “Posttraumatic Growth After Loss,” which covers Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)‘s Suicide Postvention Model. Check out the article from narrator Dr. Shauna Springer, where she shares the four pillars for building a strong plan of support for trauma survivors so posttraumatic growth can take place. Course: http://ow.ly/uqjv50zMVvP Four Pillars: http://ow.ly/Plsu50zMVvO

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Family

To doc with lube

Originally posted 2021-11-12 08:40:00. I had an appointment with an orthopedic doctor yesterday. This was for my shoulder/shoulder blade part of back/down my arm issue I wrote a post about. I had it in my mind this was just a muscle issue. I guess this also kind of explains why everything I’ve tried to use to ease the pain didn’t 100% work. I went by myself since I didn’t think this appointment was going to…

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Family

No one knows…

Originally posted 2019-04-04 10:36:40. No one knows how my heart truly feels… No one knows the daily struggle I have within myself… No one knows the guilt… No one knows the feeling of being left behind… No one knows the feeling of holding it all together while you rapidly fall apart… No one knows how my heart hurts… No one knows how I want to be free of the struggle… No one knows why I…

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