Originally posted 2020-10-19 08:04:58.
The day of my daughter’s baby shower was a new one for me.
New that it’s obviously our first grandbaby and new that I attended a function with their biological sperm donating father. He was there, yes. My daughter I believe was curious about them and I can’t say I blame her but she will slowly but surely find out how he is.
I almost didn’t attend it. My husband, my bff, her husband, my son, my niece and nephew and one of my high school friends all came with me.
I don’t think I could have gone without them. I know my husband would not have let anything happen to me or my son. My bff’s husband would have been right there with my husband had anything popped off.
I know my momma would have tried to tell me to go no matter what.
But my anxiety, being in the same room with him outside of a courthouse and in a happy setting no doubt.
This was hard for me but I did it. I also did it with a little help from Crown Royal and Coke, lol.
I couldn’t get past that point without it.
Everyone with me kept an extremely close eye on my son. If he walked to the bathroom then someone went with him. Someone was always with him, always.
My kids have 3 half sisters by two other mothers. One of the other baby momma’s was there as well as their youngest baby sister. I think she said she was 19.
Anyway, this sister walked up to me and said something and honestly everything she said to me is kind of a blur at this point. But she wanted to say something to my son.
It all happened so quick. She walked up to him said she was his sister and she was happy to meet him and gave him a hug.
It’s like I didn’t have time to think when that happened.
Then towards the end of the event that sister’s momma walked up to me.
She thanked me for letting her come. I told her I wasn’t the one who invited her.
She thanked me for letting her child speak to my son.
I have my reasons for this and I won’t sway.
I know the sisters didn’t abuse me but they think their father is awesome. They have no clue.
She then proceeded to tell me when she kicked him out she found letters from me that I had written addressed to him way before my daughter was even born.
In one of these letters I spoke about the time when he had me cowered in the corner of a room, kicking me, punching me with other family members standing there watching all of it and doing nothing. All this while I was pregnant with my son.
Why he kept those letters is beyond me.
I told her I tried to tell her years ago to leave him alone and she was like she should have listened but it’s the past now. She has two kids by him too.
I had to ask her if he ever hit her and she told me no but he did psychologically abuse her. Which I believe because he did that on top of the physical abuse. Am I glad he didn’t lay hands on her, yes. Maybe I was the only one he ever did that too. Who knows.
I told her my husband was extremely protective of my son and would not let him come near him that night. I found out later by my daughter that he wanted to approach my son and speak to him.
My husband was like, “For what?” Why bring that crap into his like now. What good is it going to do?
When my son saw him all he said was “courthouse”. That’s how he knows him.
He never approached myself or my son, thank God because with my husband and bff’s husband there I am not sure that would have ended well for him.
I wanted to go to the baby shower not for me but for my daughter and my momma.
My anxiety took over and 3 glasses later I was able to semi enjoy myself but more importantly be there for my daughter. I didn’t want to make it about me. I wanted to make it what it was, her and her baby. Oh and the baby’s father, lol.