Freezing Anxiety

Yeah… my title is a twist…

Ok, I’m freaking COLD!! LOL

Yes I know I am in a building with walls and electricity…

Hell we even have a “fireplace” to turn on for heat that runs off propane.

Y’all know I have anxiety where fire is concerned because of the house fires.

Then the smoke alarms several years ago that went off while my husband was at work.

Then a while back when they went off a like two o’clock in the morning and wouldn’t stop.

UGHHHH hell even the dogs are triggered by them when they go off now.

Then don’t forget the time my husband’s truck caught on fire coming home.

The smoke alarms in the house went off on Thanksgiving. Weird thing is there was no smoke.

I was cooking something in the oven. Nothing was burning off so I don’t understand why they were doing that.

Then anytime I have used the oven it is done it, every. single. time.

We crack the sliding glass door when it does and then take something and fan the air around the smoke alarm closest to the kitchen. Which is the one in the hallway.

I am scared to death to turn the heat on. We all know what happens when you turn the heat on for the first time.

That dreaded burn off is coming and I know it will likely trigger the alarms.

Ok ok… I don’t know that for sure but I am scared to take that chance.

It is currently in the 20’s outside and I am sitting here in my chair with a heated throw blanket and a plug in ”fireplace” heater that is my bff’s and I am still cold!

But one of my damn dogs is hogging what little heat this thing is putting out.

I don’t know if I even turned this thing on right because my husband is normally the one that brings it out and turns it on for me.

Does that mean I am spoiled? Likely but it is lifting something and well I had the neck fusion at the end of May so…

I haven’t been able to gain much strength back since then and some of it they said I won’t gain back.

It’s all good though. Like I always say, there is an upside to pain.

But I’m still cold lol.

It is so hard to deal with this crippling anxiety where fire, smoke alarms are concerned.

I mean it is only 6o degrees in the house, not horrible so technically I’m just being a wuss.

So… sue me. oh wait… can I sue myself for being a wuss?

Probably not… I won’t get nothing from her anyway LMAO

I want to be able to turn on the heat at the very least before I have this next surgery.

I need to know that when the heat it coming on and burning off, the unit in the attic is doing what it’s doing, just burning off the dirt and dust that was built up on it since last winter.

It’s just I need to lay eyes on it while it is doing that just to be sure that is all it is doing and nothing is on fire.

Then being in the attic and if something is burning then grab the extinguisher and hopefully put it out.

Now, will my anxiety being able to do that? Probably not…

In the meantime… I will just sit here and freeze LOLOL

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