Aging With Grace Is A Blessing Not Always A Requirement

Originally posted 2015-03-15 15:31:49.

Another year older and some would say another year wiser but hey we can’t all be perfect. 😉

I have been MIA the past 4 weeks. It has been a very trying time considering my 21-year-old son has decided to take on actions of younger children to teens. Since my daughter has been away in college he hasn’t seen much of her. He was so used to having her by his side for majority of his life it has taken some adjusting for him. He has decided to gain attention by acting out. He mainly does it to myself not my husband. Which I am having a hard time understanding why he is doing it to me at all. He has been so defiant, even when he asks me for something and I tell him no he decides to do or get it anyway. It is really been a struggle just making his daily tasks go without incident. I just can’t seem to get him to understand what he is doing is not the proper way to act.

Which all this makes it harder for myself and my husband to have time to ourselves. Dusty will literally hover around us when we are having a conversation between the two of us. He hears us talking about different things and then the next morning gets up at the crack of dawn because he thinks we are going somewhere. Example: My husband and I were talking about going to a new grocery store that opened up several months ago. I wanted to wait until the new store traffic had died down some. We were in our room and near the bathroom. Dusty, was just outside our bedroom door listening to our conversation. When I left the living he was still in there so I assume he followed shortly after. Well the next morning he wakes up right after my husband left for work. We know if he thinks or knows we are going somewhere he will get up early and will be anxious until we actually leave. We have tried to get him to understand that he shouldn’t be listening to our private conversations while we are in the bedroom. But he just doesn’t get it. We weren’t actually going anywhere. We spoke about the grocery store but we really didn’t state just when we had intended to go. Dusty just heard “going to the grocery store” and ran with it like a running back to the end zone.

On top of those issues he thinks because he is now taller than I am, it somehow gives me less authority than before. Not to mention he is 21 years old and he thinks he should be allowed to do as he pleases just because he is 21. It’s honestly hard to get him to understand that just because he is chronologically 21 doesn’t mean he is allowed to do something or if it is even in his best interests. Yes legally he is allowed to purchase alcohol but consuming it is a whole other ball game. That’s just part of the issues we’ve experienced the past several weeks.

A few months ago one of his seizure medications was replaced with a new one to hopefully better control the larger seizures that have a greater risk of injury due to falling and hitting his head. He has had numerous seizures in the past few months that are out of the norm. For him to have a seizure in general isn’t out of the normal, it is the bigger more full-bodied seizures that is now more like an occasional visitor versus one that would show when something bigger was occurring. I realize things can occur that change the occurrence, severity, length of time of each and every seizure but what the change in this case we are unsure of. We return to see the neurologist soon and will likely take additional tests to see if anything has changed. The doctor doesn’t really want to put him on more than 3 medications at a time but if truly worth the risks the recommendations will follow.

I have had recommendations for essential oils to legalized marijuana and no doubt I am sure there are true believers in the effectiveness of these treatment methods but the risks associated in acquiring some are more than what we can take on right now. I trust the professional medical opinion of his doctors and know that they are also human. Think back to the early days, modern medicine takes on a whole new meaning today as opposed to the days of Hippocrates (The Hippocratic Oath is an oath historically taken by physicians. It is one of the most widely known of Greek medical texts. It requires a new physician to swear, upon a number of healing gods, to uphold specific ethical standards.). Things have been thought to be effective treatments then a decade or so later they weren’t as effective as once believed. Medicine is still a lot of trial and error. It’s investigative work of the mind and body. There is always risks with any medical treatment no matter what. Hell, there are risks just drinking water in the morning to awaken the senses but we don’t always associate the risks.

One thing I would like to touch base on that has come to my attention much more recently. There are things in this world that we don’t all agree with and that’s ok. People tend to believe that one person’s activities make for more dangerous surroundings. That may be true in some areas but not all. What may be effective in one area of the US just doesn’t work for other areas. I have had people comment on numerous Facebook posts and indirectly thank me for feeding into the frenzy of a particular subject. Yeah I know I am being a bit vague here but just like you I would like to express my opinion without someone always bashing others like myself. If you don’t like what I posted then move along or unfriend me. We can’t please everyone nor do I want to please everyone. I don’t want to live in a land where everyone is the same, carbon copy, replica of the next person. What fun would that be for everyone to be the same? We wouldn’t have people who would make us laugh until our stomach hurts, to inspire us to keep moving and not to give up on our dreams. We definitely wouldn’t have the technology we have today without differences of the creative minds. One person’s passions can make a world of difference for many areas in our lives. Just think…without differences we wouldn’t have the doctors, architects, musicians, painters, chefs, gardeners, the thousands professions that are more of a passion than just a job. I wouldn’t want someone who thought just saving my life was a job and didn’t have the passion, the drive, to let me continue to see the beautiful Carolina blue skies.

Imagine how our world would be without those things we don’t have in common as well as the things we do have in common. Embrace our differences and enjoy them while you can because once your time is up could you say you lived your life like you wanted to or like someone else wanted you to?

I won’t make promises for things beyond my control.

We continue to believe in Kayla’s dream and hope you do as well.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.