Family

What to say…

Originally posted 2020-08-16 18:39:26. My momma’s death has taken an even bigger toll on Dusty. He would always get at the very least a phone call and a card from my momma and my step father.He hasn’t even gotten a call or anything from my step father since my momma passed June 21, 2018. He just turned 27yrs old. He may be autistic but he has feelings too and they don’t understand why he hasn’t…

Continue reading

Uncategorized

When we needed each other

Originally posted 2014-04-21 14:57:42.         My husband and I met online. Funny thing is I messaged him asking him if he was even old enough to be on the site. He did not look old enough at all. We hit it off. I was living about 3 hours away from him. He was in the Marine Corps at the time. Somehow he managed to come see me nearly every weekend. With the…

Continue reading

Family

Mother’s Day

Originally posted 2019-05-10 07:28:23. This is the first Mother’s Day without you. This is so hard. As I watch tv, listen to the radio, or even look at the newspaper or online all I see is Mother’s Day ads. I keep looking away. I want to avoid it like one would avoid the plague. This is fucking hard. I told James I don’t want anything nor do anything. I am so not ready to face…

Continue reading

Family

The month of blur

Originally posted 2017-12-05 14:09:25. This past month has seriously been a blur. It’s been a little more than a month when I think about it. If you go back to October when I had my mini-stroke so that’s almost 2 months. Geez… Biological father passed away on November 14th. Dusty and I had gotten up early that morning to make the trip to see him when the so-called girlfriend called me to tell me he…

Continue reading

Family

Snail’s pace

Originally posted 2019-04-24 16:43:01. Grieving while being the mother and caregiver to someone with autism is hard as hell. Dusty watches me 24/7. He sees me crying, mad, frustrated, etc I can’t escape. All the while trying to repair hurricane florence damage. I have been going to my local massage envy every few weeks for a deep tissue massage. It has helped tremendously from a physical standpoint but not really helped mentally. I need an…

Continue reading

Family

Shear Disappoint

I wish I could explain the feelings going through my veins. To have learned the things I have and to know the things weren’t as they seemed… the shear amount of disappoint is unbelievable. Now to have to deal with all of that is beyond irritating. There are family members that shouldn’t have to even go through this right now but yet here we are. Then another family member is MIA and holds truths that…

Continue reading

Family

Which is it?

Well…. my dad passed away at first by a heart attack and now was told it was instead an aneurysm. The death certificate has not be signed off on as of this morning because for whatever reason, all 4 of my step siblings all have to physically be there to sign off on it. Why the eldest one can’t do it by himself I don’t know. Thankfully my aunt (technically step aunt) lives in our…

Continue reading

Family

Only one I’ve ever known

I lost the only father I have ever known, my children lost the only grandfather (or better known as Pa to them). I am going to say he is now reunited with my mother. I haven’t even come to terms with my mothers passing and now this. I feel hella guilty because I haven’t even been able to return to my mothers house since she passed and now this. I feel left behind. My momma,…

Continue reading