Originally posted 2019-07-07 09:05:19. I woke up this morning feeling lost, missing my momma. I know my bio father wasn’t really a father to me but losing him I feel I also lost a part of me as well. Then, to make matters worse…. I lost the man that was my “father”. Not by death… I guess you’d say by choice. My heart hurts because I felt betrayed. I don’t know how to get past…
Originally posted 2019-07-04 09:06:45. You know I have been thinking alot more since the passing of my mother, June 21 2018. I miss her so much. My son, Dusty, talks about her ALOT. It is hard to hear him talk about her. I mean it is good thoughts but it is painful to hear. With me trying to heal and deal with life without her… it feels like scab being ripped from your skin. One…
Originally posted 2019-06-21 17:37:19. Do you know how hard it is to grieve with someone around you watching you every second of the day? I know I will miss this one day when he’s gone but I feel like I can’t do what I need to do for me in order to “protect him” Today in 2018 my mother lost her fight. She when down quick but not without fight. Things lay on my mind…
Originally posted 2020-08-16 18:39:26. My momma’s death has taken an even bigger toll on Dusty. He would always get at the very least a phone call and a card from my momma and my step father.He hasn’t even gotten a call or anything from my step father since my momma passed June 21, 2018. He just turned 27yrs old. He may be autistic but he has feelings too and they don’t understand why he hasn’t…
Originally posted 2014-04-21 14:57:42. My husband and I met online. Funny thing is I messaged him asking him if he was even old enough to be on the site. He did not look old enough at all. We hit it off. I was living about 3 hours away from him. He was in the Marine Corps at the time. Somehow he managed to come see me nearly every weekend. With the…
Originally posted 2020-08-09 09:42:05. These past few days have hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s like my momma died all over again. I want to be with her so bad to the point that I even wrote a will. I need her. I need to talk to her. I woke up yesterday morning with someone in my ear telling me to play them some music. Could it have been my brother since it…
Originally posted 2019-05-10 07:28:23. This is the first Mother’s Day without you. This is so hard. As I watch tv, listen to the radio, or even look at the newspaper or online all I see is Mother’s Day ads. I keep looking away. I want to avoid it like one would avoid the plague. This is fucking hard. I told James I don’t want anything nor do anything. I am so not ready to face…
Originally posted 2017-12-05 14:09:25. This past month has seriously been a blur. It’s been a little more than a month when I think about it. If you go back to October when I had my mini-stroke so that’s almost 2 months. Geez… Biological father passed away on November 14th. Dusty and I had gotten up early that morning to make the trip to see him when the so-called girlfriend called me to tell me he…
Originally posted 2019-04-24 16:43:01. Grieving while being the mother and caregiver to someone with autism is hard as hell. Dusty watches me 24/7. He sees me crying, mad, frustrated, etc I can’t escape. All the while trying to repair hurricane florence damage. I have been going to my local massage envy every few weeks for a deep tissue massage. It has helped tremendously from a physical standpoint but not really helped mentally. I need an…