Family

My heart is breaking

Originally posted 2018-06-15 14:38:27. This will be the hardest thing I have ever done. I have to somehow suppress the expression on my face because Dusty is watching me like a hawk. He knows something is up. This hurts so much. I don’t know how to let go of my mother. I don’t know how to live my life without her. I don’t know how I will ever explain it to Dusty. I pray to…

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Family

Originally posted 2018-06-12 13:09:01. I need your prayers, miracles. My heart hurts and I just can’t do life without my momma. She is in the fight for life and I will likely not be on social media much. Her kidneys took a hit and need to heal in order for them to do any chemo or radiation. Cancer is in her liver and lungs and they need to see if it is in her brain…

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Family

The Big C

Originally posted 2018-06-06 11:13:07.   As I sit here looking of inspiration for each keystroke I hold back tears. The normal daily routine of getting my son up to take his medications doesn’t stop for anything. Hearing the words in my head over and over… CANCER… My mother has beaten colorectal cancer just a few years ago. Her body still trying to recover from the chemo and radiation. Then having to have her arteries bypassed…

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Family

Charlie

Originally posted 2019-02-26 09:06:40. She will be missed. My husband’s side kick, devil dog. Charlie you are no longer hurting. Run over that rainbow bridge til your hearts full of joy knowing the love and life you brought to this family. We can’t thank you enough for your presence. We hope you understand why we didn’t want you to suffer anymore. You no longer wagged your tail at dad’s presence. When dad asked if you…

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Family

With Love, Charlie

Originally posted 2019-02-25 08:58:22. We unfortunately have to put her to sleep. The cancer – tumor is just ravaging her poor little body. We had planned on taking her to nc state oncology for her appointment but she can’t do anything for herself anymore. We tried to get her up but she just stands there leaning against you. No wagging her tail no nothing. She will definitely be missed. She was the alpha in this…

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Family

She’s seems miserable

Originally posted 2019-02-22 08:04:09. We have a consultation with NC State Veterinary School’s Oncology Dept. to see what if anything can be done before the dreaded decision has to be made. My husband said he doesn’t want to make that decision. This was their findings. I.E. Cancer… Me and cancer this year … this mf’r needs to fuck off. She came home with a bunch of medications. She’s on the same neurontin as I am,…

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Family

Why does it hurt

Originally posted 2019-02-16 18:29:30. Can someone explain to me why this hurts so freaking much?! I watched the man who I share his DNA, who may not have been a father but he was my father. Then 7 months or so later have to watch my mother, the woman who brought me into this world, carried my through this world in so many different ways. Who I miss more than life itself. I want to…

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Family

Unexpected

It’s been a few days since my esophageal scope. That went as… unexpected. The doc found cells in my tract that aren’t normally found in your tract. So… he took three biopsies while he was in there. Thank goodness for what I call the Michael Jackson drug… sad that the drug is widely known as that but it is what it is. Bottom half of my body hurts, now the other orifice is sore too…

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Family

Comfortably Numb

Originally posted 2020-02-29 08:32:10. This is where I am right now. As much as I smile to hide through the pain this is me. I will admit it. It’s like I am almost not even feeling things the way I would normally. Am I depressed? Maybe so. I am not suicidal even though I will admit that after my momma’s passing all I wanted to do was be with her. The moment she passed I…

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