September 23 2014

Originally posted 2014-09-23 16:35:20.


The military community has lost several veterans recently. My heart goes out to the families involved. The reality of PTSD and its effects on our military is ever more present in our everyday lives. My husband even changed after coming home from deployment. He won’t admit to it at all. After being screwed out of his career, trying to find a job, keep insurance for our family and keep our heads above water it has presented new stressors on him on top of ones he had already been dealing with. I know he is dealing with things mentally that he refuses to tell me. The struggle of dealing with the VA and his disability claim gets harder by the day. After getting his commercial drivers license I thought he would finally be on a new track that would get him where he wanted to be. Well at his point that new track has yet to start. He hooked up with a veteran that owns a small transport company and is hoping to start driving soon. Problem is that the guy asked him to hurry up and make a decision as far as him agreeing to sign on to drive for him and then two months later still not given my husband the good-to-go for him to give notice at his current job. Then to deal with the issues of getting insurance either on the marketplace or get the guy to get a policy as an employer. I then hear that recipients of the ACA (marketplace insurance) may be dealing with a whole other issue come tax time. When you “apply” for insurance on the marketplace if you are paid hourly you have to “guesstimate” your income for the year. Now the problem is since the insurance is based on your income it means it is subject to change. Now hear comes tax time. Say your income has fluctuated throughout the year. You worked overtime or didn’t work as much whatever the case. Well you will be “penalized” (my words not something I read) for working more than what you guesstimate on your application. That to me discourages people from working more because they will be penalized come tax time from making that extra money. In the case of my husbands potential job that means he would have to limit his driving. Now if the employer could get a policy and we enrolled in it then it would mean we would be paying a flat rate for insurance and it would not be effected by the income made. Yes, employer based insurance would be more expensive. I mean right now the amount taken out of my husbands check and the amount that is in his health and welfare account amounts to $1292.00 a month. It is a policy that the company required their employees enroll in and would not allow them to opt out of any of it. All we can do is hope and pray the guy my husband will be driving for is able to get a policy we can enroll in.

Sitting back watching my husband struggle with the stressors of the transition to civilian life is difficult. We have the stress of dealing with our son and how all of this has had an effect on him. But in the last few months every thing has become more volatile. My husband is determined to make sure my daughter is able to stay enrolled in school but on the other hand the reality that the deadline is steadily approaching and we have only been able to raise $450.00 is depressing. My husbands attitude has changed significantly. Since I somehow managed to injure my arm he has been the only person cutting the grass. We only have a push mower and there is a lot of grass to maintain for a push mower. Not only are we responsible for cutting our yard but the grass alongside of the fence going down the street. The problem is that my husband has an injury that he got while in the Marine Corps that is affecting him on different levels. It makes it difficult for him to just sit down and relax in a chair. We had been looking to buy a riding lawnmower so that I could cut the grass. I can cut the grass with no problem with a riding mower. That would ultimately take some of the stress off of him. He was outside after dark last night cutting the grass. But we put that on hold in order to try to raise the money to make sure our daughter stays in college.

I have reached out so many different people trying to drum up support to raise these funds but have been ignored up to this point. I have contacted clubs to highly respected members of the military community. The disappointing part about this is all the stuff we here about them wanting to support veterans and their families and then to actually reach out to them numerous times with no response what so ever. My husband is beyond struggling to understand what is wrong. He has become so negative and depressed. He was never diagnosed with PTSD and honestly would never admit to it. I struggle to try and keep him on a positive track. He has lost all hope in the VA and is not even counting on them to get his claim done. I have to keep pressing him to call them and not give up. I have to remain hopeful that something will come out of all of this and we will be able to raise enough money to keep her in school.
The problem is listening to my husband and not letting his negativity get to me. I try and put on a happy face for him and my son when in all reality I just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry.
I ask my readers to please join in our efforts to raise the funds for our daughters dream.

suicide hotline


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.