I got a phone call from my bio father’s “girlfriend” just a bit ago. He has been in the hospital for several weeks now. It seems last night he took a turn for the worse.

He stopped wanting to eat ~ even if being fed. They are considering a feeding tube. He spiked a fever of 102 and feel that he may have a touch of pneumonia. So they have started giving him antibiotics as they don’t need it getting any worse. She said they may or may not do a CT scan or MRI and would update be of any changes.

Why am I crying?

He’s not gone ~ YET ~ but I feel like this is nearing the end of this. I struggle with my emotions on this. Yes, he is my biological father, that is true. But never approached the “father” stage. My mom used to say there was never any love in the house that he grew up in. No, I don’t recall the typical “grandmother” “grandfather” when I would visit them but I always thought that was just them.

So many things I wish that man had done as my father but he never did.

I feel bad shedding a tear for him and on the flipside I just want a hug from my daddy.

And well….between the above and now he has passed on.