Originally posted March 2016

How do you remember memories you know in your heart but can’t recall in your mind? To see the smiles on the faces of old and feel the warmth from the sun of gold. The people that come into our lives and leave in such ways that all you can do is just pray. Pray that the pain will soon go away. Pray that they didn’t bear the burden of pain as they left their young bodies and were forced to stand over themselves and watch as the horror of the events are thrust upon your friends, family, and the small community you called home.

It isn’t the Utopia we all want it to be but is a place where you know most of who all you see. You know the faces you see are friends or relatives to someone you will come to see. You know the family’s that dwell under those big old trees are just there to feel the warmth of the sun, hear the laughter in each others voices as they just try to have fun. Nothing extravagant just laughter. Someone always welcoming you in, offering you something to fill your stomach and without knowing they have also filled your heart. It is family’s like these that make sure you’re full of breath and food as you walk out their doors. They may not have much but it is what they give you that no amount of money could you pay. It is what you take away from it that you will cherish each and every day. The joy of friends who love you til no ends. The laughter and tears you shared for no reasons at all. The days and nights you have spent together just in the presence of each other. Watching your children play together. Waving at folks as they drive past, even those we do not know. Those who don’t bare their souls to you as you share your own. They share the little bit of light they hold as their own to brighter your days for each to come. They bring you joy, laughter, pain, and sorrow but when you think of them they erase that sorrow. To have a friend who you’ve share the most. To have that friend who you have known for so many, many years and to know that your friend exited this world in such a brutal way is something I will remember each and everyday. I know I don’t need to focus on their pain but when you love and care for someone that is something I believe we do without will. As I close my eyes and try so very hard to uncover those images of it just to reminisce.