Family

Why one and not the other?

Originally posted 2014-04-28 12:22:59.

Since my children have been doing so much in their lives it has seemed to attract the attention of the bio father’s family. But one thing that angers us off is it seems to be so one-sided. Always about my daughter not my son. Asking about so many things where she is concerned. Even a few years ago calling her on her birthday and for the first time sending her a birthday gift. Even though she threw it away. I mean come on…she was 16 years old and you send some crappy cheap ass dollar packaged make-up and perfume? Really? The first thing you send in her entire life and it is that? What a way to make an impression. Good for you…ha ha. So now we fast forward. They wanted to be able to be apart of her graduation. But when my son graduated …NOTHING. Why is that the case? Even my own bio father when he isn’t acting like Satan spawn….he would say this or that about her. Wanted to send her something but his response to what about Dusty?  I am not made of money. My daughter would then say if you can’t give something to him then I don’t it.

I don’t understand that at all. Why would you only think of her and nothing about him. He has potential too. He has done things that deserve praise. But you leave him out so much like he isn’t even there. Special Needs children or adults don’t deserve your time of day if it is for pity. If you clearly have the heart for the cause then fine, come join us but don’t sit there and act like you are doing us a favor by then acting like he is there. Just because he isn’t going on to college and then med school or whatever she decides to do doesn’t mean he won’t do something. You have no idea the impact he has made on people’s lives. He is the reason for her love of the cause, he is the reason she is so passionate about certain things.

I really hate when people think he is just ”there”. Then you wonder why she doesn’t want to really deal with anyone on that side. As they have gotten older she has made her own decisions to about that side of the family. Not just hearing stuff. She has made her own opinions not based on mine alone. You are cause of your own demise and the reasons why she wants nothing to do with you. As she told you several years ago… She has a father and his name is James. He has been a father to them both. Even in the almost 9 years we have been together….she impact he has had on their lives is beyond your reach. You thought you were doing a noble thing that day at court by shaking his hand trying to tell him thank you for raising them. That meant nothing to him. It actually made him dislike you even more because your actions still don’t speak the same words.

Recently my daughter went to prom and I just have to say this…I know it isn’t really related to the post here but it has really bothered me. The father of her prom date was said to have made a comment while pictures were being taken. He looked to my daughter then looked to my daughters date and said, “these hoes ain’t loyal”. You hurt my daughters feelings during a time that wasn’t about you. Even if you were not addressing it to her…. you should not have made such a comment during an event that there was no one else there but your wife, your son, your own daughter, my daughter and the photographer. I mean who were you addressing this to and why? My husband is behind upset but has suppressed the anger. His comment, You don’t disrespect my daughter. For him…that speaks volumes on the type of man you are. I feel for your wife and daughter if that was meant towards my daughter because that means you don’t look at women as you should. I can do nothing but pray you do not say anything else in the future to disrespect my daughter and her feelings. That was totally uncalled for.

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