I saw this meme this morning and it was so right!
Over the years I was searching for love.
It seemed I was so desperate to find love I was taking whatever came my way.
I would “love” them (or pretend to) way more than they ever deserved from me.
I didn’t love them, I loved the idea of what I thought was love.
I wanted so much to be loved that I think I created it in my mind.
From one loser to the next I was damaging myself with each passing day.
All the while not seeing what it was doing to me or my children.
I don’t know what I thought I saw in those yahoo’s but it wasn’t what I needed.
I needed an equal.
I needed someone to love me when I wasn’t loving myself.
All I got was guys that were in it for what I could give them.
It’s funny how we do this to ourselves after years of an abusive relationship.
We think we have someone that loved us. Maybe it’s because they didn’t lay hands on me. I don’t know what it was but it surely wasn’t love.
At some point in our lives we have to take a really deep long standing look into that mirror we see ourselves in and notice what’s missing.
When we aren’t happy it shows.
I just think I didn’t know what happiness was much less knowing what it truly meant to be loved.