Today, November 6 is my husbands birthday. He is not used to necessarily celebrating it because of the way they grew up they didn’t celebrate birthdays, Christmas, etc. He turns 33 years old. Yes, I guess that technically means I am a “cougar” since I have almost 9 years on him. But I am ok with that. He has been a great provider and father to my children. He earned the title, father and he wears it well. While no one is perfect and we all have our faults he still remains apart of our little family. He has had his work cut out for him that’s for sure. With my past and challenges he has had to deal with all the damage that others had caused. He had no experience at parenting as he was thrown into a role where all he had in his arsenal was his father. Soon after we got married he lost his father, November 4th, two days before his birthday.
He has definitely grown into his life being married to a woman who had two children, one of which had special needs. To have the baggage that came with it all and not know how to deal with it meant there were definite challenges he had to overcome. But he has overcome them and with great pride. He wears the title father with great pride.
There was this time that the bio- approached him outside of the courthouse and shook his hand and thanked him for raising his children. My husband, well, wasn’t really feeling his sincerity. Whether or not he really meant it we will never know. In my husband’s defense, his actions up to this day meant more to him than the words and hand shake he was given. If you sincerely wanted to help you would have done so before hand and not be forced to do so by the court system. My husband wants nothing to do with their bio and doesn’t even want them apart of their lives. If the court system had not already made the bio pay, granted the order was there he just didn’t pay like he was ordered to, my husband wouldn’t want any money from him. But it is what it is and what child support we get, if any, just goes into the pot and is applied to their overall well-being.
No matter what, we both believe in working things out and not “just throw in the towel”. We were both raised with similar morals yet the generation gap but have the same goals as to what we value and that’s all that matters. I admit its been different when we first got married when it came to celebrating birthdays and holidays but lets just say I taught him well. He knows who he has to sleep with every night, lol.
I am glad to have met him when I did because he changed our lives just as much as we changed his. I am grateful for the journey and know that it won’t continue without struggle but as long as I have you by my side, I’m good.
Happy Birthday Babe.